Resurrection Snapshots

Snapshot #1: Standing on the corner of a busy city intersection. The sun is blocked by high buildings and shade trees. I shiver from an early spring breeze, pulling the sign in my hands closer to my body. A woman leans out the window: “Are you standing here against abortion? You are in the wrong place – don’t you know this is Planned Parenthood?” She pulls away before I can answer – Yes, I know I am standing in a place marked by death and the defeat of life. I am here for the lives quickly ended like little lights that were never given an opportunity to shine.

Snapshot #2: Standing in a tranquil forest peering beyond an iron gate to Thomas Jefferson’s grave. Though it is mid-day, large trees keep this spot ever shaded. Two little boys beside me eagerly run up, clutching nickels in their fingers. “Thomas Jefferson is right there!” one of them exclaims impressively. Yes, here is the stone to mark a great life, in a few moments I will walk the gardens the president tended and stand in the hall where other great men from around the world waited to speak with him. But no one waits there now, expecting Mr. Jefferson to step out of the library. He will not be coming, because he is not really here.

Snapshot #3: On my hands and knees picking up a thousand shards of broken glass. In a clumsy moment, a lamp was knocked off the table, the bulb hitting hard against a chair and shattering at my feet. The light snuffed out can’t be restored. Simply flipping a switch or plugging in a cord can’t bring it back. Even if I carefully and perfectly re-glue every piece of glass back into its original place, there is no way I could bring back the bulb’s ability to shine. Anyway, the glass has shattered so completely there is no way I will be able to find every speck hidden in the plush carpet.

Life is so fragile. It must have seemed that way to the disciples kneeling broken-hearted at the foot of the cross and to the women coming to a tomb to mourn their Master’s death. Hope –for a fleeting moment, a bursting song of joy – was now silent as the grave.

And yet…Jesus. Jesus does not stay silent when darkness and death happen – even when they happen to him. He does not stay hanging on a cross or behind a stone-sealed tomb. No, He enters in and breaks through – a gleaming shaft of light in a dark room, a spring of water bursting out of dry ground. He came to earth and here spilt His blood, leaving it forever changed.

Jesus changes all of it. Jesus changes all of me.

He, the Holy Son of God, became fragile and broken just like me, sharing in all the pain and grief of humanity, so I could share in the transformation of His resurrection. All things made new. I no longer need to keep on sinning because sin’s power over me has been vanquished. I don’t suffer alone because Jesus has borne the full weight of my sufferings. I have a hope and a purpose for my life because eternity has been secured by my risen, reigning Savior.

“Amazing love, how can it be? That God should plunge the knife in His heart for me — all the while, me, dry and indifferent, cool and detached. That He, the God of life, should conquer death by embracing it. That He should destroy the power of sin by letting it destroy Him” 
- Joni Eareckson Tada

How grateful I am that Jesus did not leave me where I was – alone, broken and helpless. How grateful I am that He did not stay where He was, but is right here!

Nothing can separate me from the love of Christ! Not the deadliest, most condemning sin; not the most painful suffering, not the solitude of death or the darkness of the tomb. Nothing can sever my tie to the One “who died — more than that, who was raised — who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us” (Romans 8:34). In Him, because of Him, there are no moments in my life that His resurrection does infiltrate. Even death holds no sting – to live is Christ, to die is gain! I am resurrected to a new life.

To know the Savior is to be made complete. Made alive. Made joyous. He is risen!

Love That Will Not Let Me Go

Valentines Day has come and gone.

Relationships are formed and relationships are broken.

The concept of love in our culture is a sorry tangle of conflicting messages and images.

And yet, the love that holds me close is the same today as it was yesterday and will be forever.  Every day, the One who wooed my heart reminds me again how much He cares for me. The longer I know Him, the more I realize how much there is to learn and it thrills my heart to think I have an eternity to do so.

And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD” (Hosea 2:19-20)

Sweeter than the most fragrant flowers or creamiest chocolate is the love Jesus has poured into my heart. Precious because it is much more valuable than I will ever know. Undeserved, unearned, and yet given freely.

When the storms of life knock me about, when way ahead is hazy and unclear, this one thing I know: “Neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39)

To know this is true, complete joy.

Lord, I do not want to be merely satisfied by Your love. I want to be enlivened, transformed, and overflowing. My feeble affection is a small droplet beside Your vast ocean, and yet I pray that would be all Yours.

O Love that will not let me go,
I rest my weary soul in thee;
I give thee back the life I owe,
That in thine ocean depths its flow
May richer, fuller be.

Expecting Christmas

This is really a wonderful time of year.

From Thanksgiving onward, concentrating my mind on anything but Christmas is highly unlikely. I know I’m not alone. It feels like the entire world is enveloped in a jolly tinsel wrapped, peppermint scented package of comfort and joy.

The preparation for Christmas began on Thanksgiving Day, when we filled ourselves with comforting foods, our home with pleasant smells, and cozy traditions. The next morning, we bounded out of bed at an hour only holiday shopping (and a Starbucks gift card) would inspire. We breathed in all the delights of the season — the peppermint mochas, the Christmas music, the lights, the sales.

Later that day, our wallets empty, our secrets multiplied, and our smiles broad, we continued our celebration with a visit to the tree farm. The bell-decked horse-drawn wagons, the smell of evergreen, the candy canes and the picture perfect setting, all sang out “Christmas is here!”.

The wonder and excitement of this time of year is here in full force. One by one the houses  in our neighborhood begin to light up and at school, study sessions these days are almost always serenaded by Michael Buble’s Christmas album.

I love the way my piano students are so excited for lessons these days. They come marching in, opening their books enthusiastically to “Joy to the World” or “Jingle Bells” and immediately being playing their little hearts out. And they know that even if they forgot to do their theory book or practice anything else, they’ve reached my soft spot. Because I’d happily spend the entire lesson on “We Three Kings” too.

The expectation, the excitement, the eagerness are what makes this season so special.

And whether the larger, tinsel-wrapped peppermint-scented world recognizes it, it’s biblical too.

All throughout the Old Testament, God’s people hoped and waited for the fulfillment of His promise to send a Redeemer. “There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit” (Isaiah 11:10). Every generation wondered, Will He come to us? Will we be the ones to see the salvation of the Lord? All history propelled to that one great event.

Well, He as come, just as God promised. Those who waited were filled with joy. “The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light; those who dwelt in a land of deep darkness, on them has light shined” (Isaiah 9:10).

Christmas is a reminder of why hope in God is never disappointed. He has come! He is coming again! And He calls me to live in eager expectation.

How I wish I always longed for the presence of Jesus. That my heart would be thrilled with the excitement of seeing Him face to face in the same way I delight in preparing for Christmas morning.  I desire that my entire life would propel me to know Him more.

That this would be the prayer of my heart:

Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free;
From our fears and sins release us,
Let us find our rest in Thee.
Israel’s Strength and Consolation,
Hope of all the earth Thou art;
Dear Desire of every nation,
Joy of every longing heart.

There is no loss in setting our hearts on Christ. “It will be said on that day, “Behold, this is our God; we have waited for him, that he might save us. This is the LORD; we have waited for him; let us be glad and rejoice in his salvation.” (Isaiah)

The Messiah of Christmas, who came to a waiting world and left it forever changed, longs to redeem the lives of those who wait on Him, who place their trust in His promises, who delight in His presence.  ”I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I hope;my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning. (Psalm 130:4,5)”

This Christmas season, let’s be filled with wonder and excitement. Let’s allow ourselves to be caught up in eager expectation. Let’s hope beyond finely wrapped presents under the fading tree to the best Gift ever given.

Be consumed with the real lasting, life-changing, soul-satisfying, purpose-giving joy of this hap-happiest time of the year.

This Thanksgiving

I almost made this post a list of things I’m thankful for. My sister made a good one. I even made a half-serious one, mostly based on food (that’s how I roll).

But then I got to thinking. I could write an extensive list of the many many blessings I enjoy every day, but really there is just one thing I’m grateful for. It can’t be listed after crackling fireplaces and homemade lattes and Charles Dickens. It must occupy a place of supremacy all on its own — in both my words of praise and my heart of thanksgiving.

If all other blessings were taken away, I’d still be more than blessed. I’d still never have enough breath to express my gratitude.

This one thing encompasses all other gifts. It is the only gift that keeps on giving for eternity and the only gift that once given can never be taken away.

The one thing I am grateful for this Thanksgiving is the relationship Jesus Christ has given me with Himself.In Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace” (Ephesians 1:7).

In Him I have redemption. My life is given meaning. I am freed from living for myself and freed to live as I was created. The redemption of this sinful soul by a merciful Savior means that I belong to Him and the hope He offers beyond this life.

In Him I have forgiveness. The painful reality of my own sin is confronted at the cross and   there borne by the sinless One so I might share in His holiness. He is the only One who can bring me peace with God and He does it through binding Himself to me in an unbreakable covenant relationship. “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 5:1).

All I have is according to the riches of His grace. It’s by God’s grace that I’ve been been redeemed and forgiven and it’s by His grace that I am sustained and brought heavenward every day. “For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by hispoverty might become rich” (2 Corinthians 8:9).

“Grace is the good pleasure of God that inclines him to bestow benefits upon the undeserving. It is a self-existent principle inherent in the divine nature and appears to us as a self-caused propensity to pity the wretched, spare the guilty, welcome the outcast, and bring into favor those who were before under just disapprobation. Its use to us sinful men is to save us and make us sit together in heavenly places to demonstrate to the ages the exceeding riches of God’s kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” -A. W. Tozer

The more I grow in my knowledge of Jesus, the more I am overwhelmed by the magnitude of His love. I can never know about Him, or have enough of Him. He is the only thing that fills me completely and yet increases my hunger for more of Him.

All that Jesus is to me, I can never express. Or even fully know until I see Him face-to-face. But I know enough to say He is all I need and really all  I want. To be consumed in gratitude — that is my desire. Lord open my eyes to see You as the Giver of every good gift until my heart is overflowing with thanksgiving — today, tomorrow, and always.

Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift! (2 Corinthians 9:15).

Divine Encounters in My Everyday Life

Wow, Lord. I am overwhelmed by Your goodness.

This semester I have been discouraged at school, wondering why God chose to place me here four times a week. Four times a week, I am attacked by the lack of concern for my Savior, the disregard and desecration of His name, and the celebration of sin. “In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers…” (2 Corinthians 4:4)

As much as it grieves me, I feel myself being affected by the very things that wound my spirit. My convictions are challenged and my conscience is desensitized. Not feeling I stand out, I have been trying to fit in. Or at least be lost in the shuffle.

I prayed God would give me a voice here, an opportunity to shine the light of the gospel into the darkness. I asked others to pray for me too, knowing I needed strength beyond myself. But still I doubted anyone would ever know I was His. Every afternoon, I drove off campus with a burning heart and silent lips.

And this is why my God is so incredibly good. Just when I had about surrendered, He brought an opportunity when I was least expecting it.

When I learned that heating a solution in Biochemistry lab was going to take over an hour, I was less than thrilled. And hour of sitting and waiting was going to make the three hour lab feel even longer. I wished I could escape the room full of white coat adorned students, run down to the coffee shop, and be back to measure my solution and leave.

Unfortunately, or rather, Providentially, there was no means of escape. So I instead I leaned forward unto the lab bench and listened to the conversation the three girls around me were having.

They were talking about God.

I nearly fell off my stool. All these weeks of wondering how I could fit God into a conversation and here He had done it Himself. I listened eagerly to their words and after a few minutes was surprised to hear my own voice.

“Actually, I do believe you can see God at work.”

Three sets of eyes turned to me: the friendly Catholic optimist, the self-proclaimed atheist, the lesbian who believes in some sort of God. Women I had been growing to love over the semester. They asked me to explain. I realized they were giving me an opportunity to share my faith in Jesus Christ. They didn’t argue or debate, they genuinely wanted to know. The next two hours flew by as we discussed sin, heaven, evolution, and all the religions under the sun.

It was more of an answer to prayer than I ever expected. When I asked for one friend who knew Jesus, He gave me three friends who need to know Him. I felt like shouting out “How do I know there is a God? You don’t know it but He is working right now, through you! I am more convinced of His presence right now than ever before!”

He lead that conversation. He brought His own Name to lips that rarely spoke it expect as a curse. He orchestrated the two hour wait in lab so for that time I could share His gospel in a non-confrontational way. He brought answers and words of grace to my mouth.

I am so grateful that He chooses to use me, weak and fearful though I may be. If nothing else came from that afternoon, I do know what He did in my own heart — filled me with a fresh and deeper knowledge of His abundant love and grace.

 ”For what we proclaim is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, with ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. To God alone be the glory.But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.” (2 Corinthians 4:5-7)

Lord, may I never lose this incredible joy and amazement of knowing and being loved by You.

Never for Granted

It is no secret that I love autumn. But there are a few difficulties that come along with the cooler air and changing seasons. Like waking up in the dark.

I absolutely hate waking up to an alarm clock so I always aim to beat the loud annoying buzzer. However, when the weather gets cooler, the days inevitably get shorter. The sun rises later and my natural clock does not work so well. This means that my obnoxious blaring phone has been thrown across the room most recent morning in utter disgust.

But (usually) I don’t ignore it’s summons. I know that if I don’t get out of bed at that perfectly appointed time, I’ll miss my small opportunity to run, read my Bible and journal before the busy day begins.

So the other morning I crept down the dark stairs and tiptoed down the hallway to retrieve my sneakers and hopefully retrieve some level of energy at such an early hour. Just as I was emerging from the black hole of our closet (where many a shoe has been known to disappear and never be heard of again), the hall light switched on and I sprang up like a deer in the headlights, stunned by the sudden brightness.

A few feet away, stood my pajama-clad, tousled-hair, equally bleary eyed Dad, staring down at me, concern evident beneath the groggy expression.

“What are you doing?”

“Going for a run.”

“It’s still dark out. You need something…a safety vest! Man, I don’t have mine anymore…I know, my neon cap.”

He padded quickly into the garage and began to vigorously dig through boxes and bins as I watched silently. I will not lie, I prayed he would not find that neon hat. Mercifully, he did not, but he did come up with a small low-battery flashlight which he placed into my hands with serious deliberation.

He watched me leave the house, satisfied that he ensured my safety. His sweet concern and bed hair made my heart swell with fondness and gratitude. I know the love and protection of my daddy is a very special gift that I don’t appreciate nearly as much as I should. I was struck by the realization that I take that relationship for granted.

Then I was struck with a weightier realization that I am far too likely to take Christ’s love for granted. If I don’t fully appreciate earthly love, how much more do I live unaware of the reality and the weight of His eternal love.

My heart is restless, desirous of affection, wanting something more and yet I do not see, I do not comprehend the Treasure that is mine, that is waiting for me to plunge into and search out it’s depths. Only the love of my Savior, who in a very real and very permanent way gave Himself for me, can captivate my soul and keep it satisfied. It can’t be ignored, because when it enters a life, it changes a life.

And there was a woman who had had a discharge of blood for twelve years, and though she had spent all her living on physicians, she could not be healed by anyone. She came up behind him and touched the fringe of his garment, and immediately her discharge of blood ceased….And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well; go in peace.”

The woman in Luke 8 who was healed by a touch for Christ’s robe did not forget the love that made her whole. It changed her, redefined her — once cast off and alone, now called “Daughter.” Her life was changed so she could now “Go in peace.”

And all were weeping and mourning for her, but he said, “Do not weep, for she is not dead but sleeping.” And they laughed at him, knowing that she was dead. But taking her by the hand he called, saying, “Child, arise.” And her spirit returned, and she got up at once.

The girl raised to life did not forget the love that set her heart back to beating, the Voice that called her, “Child, arise.”

I am that woman healed by a touch of a gentle merciful Lord. I am that girl raised to new life by a powerful sovereign God. My life has been redeemed and totally transformed by His amazing love. It’s what gives me purpose, direction, hope, and comfort.

Jesus’ love for me did not come without a cost and it is not taken for granted in the story of redemption. And that powerful love for me is just as strong now as when it gushed from His wounds on the Cross.

He left His Father’s throne above, so free, so infinite His grace—
Emptied Himself of all but love, and bled for Adam’s helpless race:
Amazing love, how can it be? That Thou, my God shouldst die for me?

I cannot take this love for granted. It is the very essence of life.

I love Him because He first loved me.

Reflections from the Garden at Summer’s End

(Reposted from 8/24/10)
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die,
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted”
~ Ecclesiastes 3:1,2 ~

Yesterday I did one of those tasks that is a sure sign of summer’s end. I clipped the dead heads off of daisies in our front garden. As much as I love fall and feel rather giddy at the thought of turning leaves, bonfires, golden fields, and fuzzy sweaters, I was sorry to see them go.

I love that God created flowers. Not only do they add color and beauty to our world, but in their intricate design and fragile life, they offer insight into the relationship between the created thing and the wise Creator.

As I clipped and watched bald seed heads fall to the ground, I thought of how beautiful the white petaled daisies had been a few weeks ago. I reassured the stick-like remnants of past glory that this pruning was for their good — that their dead buds needed to be discarded so when springtime came, they could be more beautiful than ever.

While my words might have been addressed to the flowers in my hands, I knew they were meant for myself…

Oh why, redeemed one, do you stubbornly hold on to your old dead nature? Why are you so reluctant to abandon sinful attitudes that you are now free from?
Anger.
Fear.
Doubt.
Pride.
Jealousy.

These postures of the heart no longer have a part with you. They no longer define you or have dominion over you.“And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses” (Colossians 2:13) You are a new creature in Christ — shed the old bud so the new one can grow. Loose your hold on desires and attitudes of the flesh because God promises to fill you with the abundant life.

Leave the old sinful habits at the foot of the cross so God can blossom the nature of the risen Christ within you. “So you must also consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus…now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification, and its end, eternal life” (Romans 6:11,22).

Love replaces anger.
Peace replaces fear.
Faith replaces doubt.
Humility replaces pride.
Contentment replaces jealousy.

The new flower is far more beautiful.

Yes, Lord, Your way is better. Thank you for planting seeds of sanctification in my heart. Teach me to discard the old me and patiently, trustingly, joyfully seek the new me — Christ in me — to take root, bud, and blossom.

True Kingdom

Shame, grief, and destruction,
Banners rising from rubble,
Treasure of no worth.
Tainted crown of self,
Royalty of sin –
The kingdom of this earth.

Subjects shuffle aimlessly
Past crumbling glories of men.
Grayness all around,
They know no other way.
Ignorant captives,
Their feet are soil bound.

But there’s another kingdom,
Far away from sin-smog air
Treasure of real worth,
Crowns of righteousness,
Holy royalty –
Vanquished dominion of earth.

Jesus is the Morning Star,
of grace and love and peace,
Pure light all around
Calls children from the dust
Citizens of heaven,
Their feet are glory bound

In this perishable land,
May I see seek eternity,
Immortality.
My inheritance –
Jesus Christ Himself,
Lift up my eyes to see

Thy kingdom come, Thy will done
In my life, right here, right now.
Make me a herald,
“The King is coming!
Our Resurrection –
The Savior of the world.”

Then the seventh angel blew his trumpet, and there were loud voices in heaven, saying, “The kingdom of the world has become the kingdom of our Lord and of his Christ, and he swho will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself. hall reign forever and ever.
~ Revelation 11:15

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.
~ Philippians 3:20,21

(picture source)

>Winter is Dead

>

Every year, there comes a day when I realize that it is spring. Yesterday was such a day.
I woke with a queasy stomach before I even remembered that today was judgment day. The day I would, for better or for worse, reckon with the huge and scary Nutrition final that had robbed my energy, concentration and near sanity for weeks now. It was a moment I was dreading and yet couldn’t wait to be done with.
Around 10:30, my door swung open let out all the pent-up stress and worry. The exam was over. I could finally breathe again. 
It was then I realized it was spring. I looked out the window and saw bright sun rays bathing green grass, budding trees, and dandelion blossoms. When had they bloomed? Nothing else would do but to get out into that sunshine. Within twenty minutes, my running sneakers were bouncing along Lancaster County country roads in all their springtime wonder.
Everything — the birds, the trees, the gardens — was alive. Promises of new life were carried on every breeze of warm air, past the new born calfs, foals, and piglets. Mini-resurrections, images of the Resurrection, signs that something was over and something new begun. “For behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone.  The flowers appear on the earth, the time of singing has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.” (Song of Songs 2:11,12) I wondered if anyone else felt the significance of this moment.
The other day, in the dressing room of J.C. Penney’s I overheard a heated conversation between a girl and her grandmother picking out a summer outfit. I could feel their frustration and annoyance without seeing their faces. Later I walked by glaring and glitzy advertisements selling empty promises of fulfillment. I wanted to shout out to the painted hollow faces, to the people looking up at them, to the girl and her grandmother in the dressing room  — “Winter is dead! Don’t you know that there are other ways to live? Don’t you understand you were made for something more? You were made for life — LIFE abundantly in Jesus Christ. Why do you settle for so much less, for winter when spring has come?”
But, in truth, I know that I am not much better. I lock myself into the limitations of my human nature and fail to live in the truth of the Resurrection. I say I trust in God, but often I don’t believe that He really brings life to dead things. When my human capacity can’t solve a problems, my tendency is to give up hope. 
The Resurrection teaches me to hope beyond all earthly reason. “Now if Christ is proclaimed as raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead?…If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied. But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep” (1 Cor 15:12, 19-20). With my earthly eyes, I see a severed friendship. I see a man deeply grieving the loss of his wife of sixty years. I see friends going through seemingly senseless pain. I know the struggles within my own heart, the relentless fight against fear, and bitterness, and selfishness. 
But with spring comes the promise of new life. “We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life”(Romans 6:4). The power of Christ bursting from the tomb on Easter morning isn’t limited at all. He has crushed death so I might know live for something more — for His glory. Sharing in his death — the agony of the cross, the barrenness of the tomb — means that I also share in His resurrection. Sin no longer has the upper hand, “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 15:57).
For the Christian, spring is a sign for what is ours in Jesus. C.S. Lewis says that God “gives [Christians] the seasons, each different yet every year the same, so that spring is always felt as a novelty yet always as the recurrence of an immemorial theme.” May we realize with the budding trees and blooming flowers, the greater theme of redemption. May we know the spring that is being awakened in our hearts and live each day in the truth of our new life. “You were wearied with the length of your way, but you did not say, “It is hopeless”; you found new life for your strength, and so you were not faint” (Isaiah 57:10)
Life isn’t just an empty tomb, it’s a resurrected life.

>It’s the Little Things

>
It is late. The night hours are creeping by. And I can’t sleep.

I’m laying here, listening to the wind beat fiercely against the window pane. It matches the thudding in my head and the thumping in my heart. Nothing inside or outside of me wants to be still or to rest. So I lay here and keep busy with my thoughts.

What is keeping me awake? Could it be that last cup of coffee I drank nearing six o’clock? Could it be the deadline of a paper looming in the near future? Could it be one of the many half-written lists that litter my nightstand? It could be any of a number of small matters, but one of these little things has stolen my sleep.

My mind turns to rehearsing the day that is dragging to a close. I find myself recalling many little moments that are now magnified in the stillness of the night. I am sorry for them now. The little sharp word that slipped off my tongue without much of a thought. The little dismissal of a kind gesture. The little covetous thought that flitted through my mind like a puff of smoke. One by one, the scenes flash by and they do anything but bring me comfort.

It’s the little things that combine here in the darkness to overwhelm my thoughts and rob me of my sleep. A thousand tiny strands weaving an intricate and confusing web that I don’t have the strength to fight my way out of. Feelings that seemed but inklings, fears that seemed only shadows, and actions that seemed insignificant, are magnified to me now.

But then I remember the Great Truth and it overpowers my worrisome thoughts with force to match the gale outside. God did a big thing. He sent His holy Son from heaven’s heights to die for the redemption of the world. With His mighty arm, He created the universe and holds it together each and every day.

With that same arm, He holds me. He cares for all the details of my life — no small disappointment goes unnoticed. He knows about the little things that keep me up at night. “My help comes from the LORD, who made heaven and earth. He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber” (Psalm 121:2,3)

God did a big thing to redeem the little things of my life. He takes the pittances of my life and gives them a place in His kingdom. Like the boy whose seven loaves and a few small fish were used to satisfy a multitude, and like the poor widow whose two small coins were a treasure, so too my insignificant moments becomes infinitely significant when the gospel enters in. Christ’s death saves me from wallowing in my incapacities, and in His victorious life, every nook and cranny of my life is resurrected with a new purpose for God’s glory. “His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master” (Matthew 25:21)

Gradually, wrapped securely in the comfort of this surpassing truth, I am lulled into a deep and peaceful sleep. I wake this morning with a song of praise in my heart. Rays of sun are streaming through window as I take hold of my Bible and prayer journal. Before heading downstairs, I shut my eyes for a short instant and breathe. “Thank You, Lord for a new day.”

It’s the little things that remind me I am loved.

I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy” (Psalm 63:6,7)